Mother’s Day

3 years ago, a day before Mother’s Day, we laid you to rest. Ever since, I don’t know how to celebrate Mother’s Day as it will always now remind me of our grief in losing you. It’s just never the same. Yes, I have Aunts and other second Mothers around, but they’re not you.

During this day in the past, we celebrate it by eating out, usually at a restaurant of your choice. I don’t give you flowers nor cakes as you’re not the type to like those kinds of gifts. There was that one time where I’ve gifted you with a facial. You were so happy and grateful then. Looking back, I should have gifted you more of that as you were so delighted by it. I forgot that my Mommy was “kikay”. Then again, you’ve always been simple and practical which makes it a little bit hard for us, especially those who know you well, to choose a gift for you.

Today is Mother’s Day, and once again I’m reminded of you and the very same day of 3 years ago. I’ve celebrated today with Aunty Dolor and their close family friends. I was shy at first because the introvert me was rearing its ugly head. I did end up enjoying my time with them anyway and I wasn’t able to think of anything else. I had cake orders for the Moms in that event. I’ve made them so nice and pretty that would have made you proud and post pictures of these on Facebook. Today, more than ever, I’ve missed you. I miss the eat out we usually do during this day, I miss that proud reaction of yours for the cake orders I’ve done, I miss all the food you make, I miss talking to you with just about anything (mundane and otherwise), I miss traveling with you, and I just miss bugging, hugging and kissing you extra on this day…

Indeed, it’s true what they say, there’s no fix time frame for grief. The grieving time and process differs from person to person. I think Daddy and I are still grieving in our own ways. Don’t worry though, in time it’ll be better and we’ll get use to this feeling. 🙂 Just continue to watch over us and guide us in everything that we do. Now that there are a lot of you there in heaven already, celebrate this day with the rest of the clan.

I’m posting a collage of your least favorite gifts to receive, if only to let me dream of you at least once. ❤️🙏 If only we can have video calls or phone calls there, it would have appeased our grief. But there’s none, so prayers and one sided talking with you will do for now.