It has been 2 years since my Mom joined our Creator. Around this time 2 years ago, we were in the waiting game for Mom to give up on her own and lose in her battle of cancer. It was a very stressful and difficult time for the family. No amount or period of preparedness will ever help in accepting and understanding the situation.
Children, no matter what age we are at, we’ll always be dependent on our Moms. Our houses are not homes without our Moms. They run the household with expertise and grace that only we can try to emulate. One of the first persons we call or go to for new or just any mundane stories we have, is our Moms. So, to say that losing Mom was an easy acceptance and a brief grieving period, is an understatement.
I had a hard time adjusting to the new normal that my Dad and I are faced with. I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibilities that my Mom left me with. It’s a very big shoes to fill and I can never be like her. It’s been 2 years and yet, I’m still adjusting. It’s really true what they say, adulting is hard and it’s a struggle, especially for me who was very dependent on my Mom for these things.
She left us, to be in a happy and peaceful place, where there’s no more pain. We were constantly telling these to ourselves, to ease the pain in losing her forever. Living our lives every day since then were no longer the same. I tried my best to bring some semblance of normalcy in living, especially at home for the sake of my Dad. I know we both have different grieving processes and it wasn’t an easy one too. I miss Mom, but I know Dad misses her more, being his lifetime partner. Eventually, we’ll be ok and we’ll learn to accept. 🙂
2 years since and I still haven’t dreamed of Mommy. I’m starting to get jealous of Daddy and my cousins, my Mom’s favorite nieces, because they’ve dreamed of her several times already. Maybe Mom knows and sees from wherever she’s at that I’m not ready, and that I’ll still breakdown. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait and be patient. All I can do is, relive her time here with us and my memories of and with her.
Mommy had a well lived and full life. She was very prayerful, caring, generous, helpful, and selfless. She loves to travel to different places, both old and new. Though she’s not the adventurous type traveler, she still knows how to make every travel she took, count and memorable. When she comes home to us after her every travel, she always had lots of stories to share. She was a wife, a Mom, a giving older sister to her siblings, a great friend, and a mentor. She had a lot of hats to wear every day, and she always tries to excel at it, and rightfully so. But to me, she’ll always be my Mom, such that even in the afterlife I’d still want her to be my Mom.
In this time of quarantine, I miss Mom more than ever. She would have been very busy at home, cooking for us and letting all of us do the chores. She would be constantly calling her brothers to check up on them, given that they’re both front liners. And since she’s very prayerful, I think we’ll be praying almost every hour for this pandemic to end. I believe in God, in the power of prayers, however, I have this theory that my Mom’s prayers will almost always be heard by God. They’re tight, like that and it’s so comforting to know and see. That said, I know I’ll be at peace then. 🙂
Mom, we miss you everyday. Continue to watch over us and guide us in everything we do. Please whisper in Jesus’ ears to heal our world from this pandemic. I do hope that you’ll visit me in my dreams one of these days. I love you! Thank you for being my Mom.
SingleBakedMiss by KiaraC 